Falling in Love with Yoga. Again.

When I first discovered yoga I fell head over heels in love with it. I came to my yoga mat almost religiously and ended up practicing 222 days straight from the first day I stepped into the yoga studio. I really needed this dedicated practice in my life at the time, it gave me a reason to wake up in the morning before working an 8 hour shift as the Sous Chef at Centro Caboto Center in Winnipeg, MB. I vividly remember the cold early mornings waking up at 4:30 a.m. to catch the six o’clock class at Moksha (now Modo) Yoga Kildonan. I would often laugh or cry on my drive to or from class as I listened to my morning music, feeling the power of the emotional part of my body so early in the day. There was a certain magic about that time of the day, and a sense of wonderment came with waking up so early to dedicate an hour to my body and mind. This was something I’d never done in my life. Seeing the other students arrive on their yoga mats was definitely a part of it, knowing that I wasn’t alone in my discovery of yoga, that there are others who know of this special time of the day.

^{_{Leaving Winnipeg and the folks at Moksha Yoga Kildonan. Arriving in Burnaby and finding my new home.}}

I ended up taking my teachers training at the end of my first year of practice which allowed me to begin the pursuit of a job in the area I was so passionate about. Yoga. I moved to Burnaby, BC for a job a Modo Yoga Burnaby and continued to teach there for six years! That will always hold a special place in my heart, it is what enabled me to become the teacher I am today and have to confidence to lead workshops like Get To Know Nidra.

_{^{Photographs from my teachers training in Kelowna, 2014.}}

Modo Yoga Burnaby unfortunately closed in 2020 due to the global COVID-19 pandemic. This left me feeling very lost, concerned for my own financial stability, and quite frankly heartbroken to lose contact with the community I had grown so close with over the last six years of my life. I tried to practice alone in my room, but found it challenging to keep focus on my yoga practice. I felt like I really needed the communal aspect of the yoga practice, the Sangha. MY Sangha. I fell off my mat for a few months and poured myself into… farming of all things. I believe what started as a dream ended as a distraction. Distraction from the loss I was feeling due to the closure of my home yoga studio in Burnaby. For about five months from the time the studio closed I practiced yoga maybe five times, and very noncommittally I might add. This was at a time that I probably needed the practice of being in my body more than I ever had. I was stressing my physical body daily by working hard on the farm, milking cows, taking care of chickens, and doing constant manual labor in the massive gardens on the farm. Why didn’t I come to my yoga mat more often to practice? Well I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back upon it now I can see that I was so heartbroken at the loss of my community. Yoga simply reminded me of what I had so recently lost. I guess had found a distraction, for the time.

_{^{Farm distractions, albeit cute ones.}}

Who knows, maybe I could have totally lost my yoga practice by letting it go for so long, but that’s not what happened. I eventually hit a low place in my emotional state, so low that I spent most of my days crying in my spare time and unfortunately fighting with my amazingly supportive and loving partner. I had ran from my emotions for long enough and I finally decided to confront them. I unrolled my yoga mat on the kitchen floor of a house that was so full of boxes I could barely move (a different story), laid down in savasana and began my first yoga practice in quite some time. It was really nice to practice again with intention behind my movement, to feel a connection to something I knew was healing for me.

So here I am again on my yoga mat falling in love with yoga again. Hitting the restart button with a beginners mind. Still searching for a community to be a part of, even if it is via Zoom 😉

Join me Here!

I can’t wait to see you in class sometime soon and get to know you and your yoga practice.

-Matthew Carter